Posts

The Past Does not Exist

 One must not get drunk on the cheap wine of tragedy.  People get stuck on two false narratives. One is the "poor me" narrative. Why did this terrible thing have to happen to me?  The other narrative is the "that bad person" narrative. They are stuck talking about narratives of people who torment them, who harass them, who thwart them. Be it an individual, a group, or "society."  It is easy to get drunk on the cheap wine of tragedy. The only narrative we should worry about it is the "What should I do from now on?" narrative.  From, The Courage To Be Happy. 

RESPECT IS SEEING A PERSON AS SHE IS

Respect is the ability to see a person as she is. To be aware of her unique individuality.  Not trying to change or manipulate the person right in front of you. Acceptance without any conditions.  There is no greater respect than this. 

Not your task

You are not living to satisfy other people's expectations.  Other people are not living to satisfy yours.  It is pointless to seek other's recognition, walk your own path, what is best for you, and what you believe in.

Discourses 3.1

If I say what I have in mind, I shall hurt your feelings and you will leave, perhaps never to return; but if I do not say it, consider the sort of thing I shall be doing. Here you are coming to me to get some benefit, and I shall be bestowing no benefit at all; and you are coming to me as a philosopher, and I shall be saying nothing to you as a philosopher. Besides, it is anything but cruel for me to leave you unreformed? If some time in the future, you come to your senses, you will have good reason to blame me. -Epictetus 

A practice on Anger

Think of anger as a fully inflated beach ball when you're in a pool. You can try to spend your time pushing it down underwater. You may or may not succeed but this will take up all your time and effort. Instead let it float around you, free your hands and time to do whatever you really wish to do.  Sometimes it will float near you, sometimes it will float away. Go for a swim. 

A Handbook for New Stoics. Week 1

 I will be following the Handbook. A tweak I am making is 5 days instead of 7 day weeks. 1 post per week. Days will be updated within the same post.  Week 1   List daily events in where you list what is entirely in your control and what is entirely  not in your control.  Day 1:  Meeting at work.  Entirely under my control - Intention to show up on time. Intention to pay attention and actively listen. Intention to look for learning opportunities. Intention to bring up important points. Not Entirely Under my control - Actually showing up on time. Actually paying attention and listening. What is said during the meeting. My emotional reaction to personal feedback. The path the meeting takes. The usefulness of the meeting. Other people understanding my points.What other people focus on. The decisions being taken to take action on by the group.  Day 2:  Doing these logs. Entirely under my control - the intention to do these logs Not entirely under my control - actually doing these logs. Othe

The Courage To Be Disliked

Whether someone dislikes you or even spends his time lying about you is not your concern.  “The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.” - Ichiro Kishimi Happiness lies in your hands , not in past traumas. You are making up reasons to hate yourself, in order to be alone and thus avoid getting hurt. “Your unhappiness cannot be blamed on your past or your environment. And it isn’t that you lack competence. You just lack courage . One might say you are lacking in the courage to be happy.” ― Ichiro Kishimi Stop trying to portray yourself in a certain way.  Stop putting people down that portray themselves in a way you do not approve of. Stop seeking praise from others.    “The one who boasts does so only out of a feeling of inferiority.”